"Energy Giver" Perspective

Better Giving Than Recieving


Betrayal, aggression, and just plain insensitivity: People can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness isn’t always easy. Whether you’ve been cut off in traffic, slighted by your mother-in-law, betrayed by a girl friend/boy friend, or badmouthed by a co-worker, most of us are faced with a variety of situations that we can choose to ruminate over or forgive. But forgiveness, like so many things in life, is easier said than done.

Forgiveness can be a challenge for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us: “That’s OK. Why not do it again?” Forgiveness can be difficult when the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve our forgiveness — it’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who is forgiven. Ultimately, forgiveness is especially challenging because it’s hard to let go of what’s happened. However, it’s important to let go and forgive. Here are some reasons why:

•          Forgiveness is good for your heart — literally. One study from the Journal of Behavioral Medicine found forgiveness to be associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as stress relief. This can bring long-term health benefits for your heart and overall health.

•          A later study found forgiveness to be positively associated with five measures of health: physical symptoms, medications used, sleep quality, fatigue, and somatic complaints. It seems that the reduction in negative affect (depressive symptoms), strengthened spirituality, conflict management and stress relief one finds through forgiveness all have a significant impact on overall health.

•          A third study, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that forgiveness not only restores positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors toward the offending party (in other words, forgiveness restores the relationship to its previous positive state), but the benefits of forgiveness spill over to positive behaviors toward others outside of the relationship. Forgiveness is associated with more volunteerism, donating to charity, and other altruistic behaviors. (And the converse is true of non-forgiveness.)

So, to sum it up, forgiveness is good for your body, your relationships, and your place in the world. That’s reason enough to convince virtually anyone to do the work of letting go of anger and working on forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is not about FEELING, but about DECISION”



  1. Geewiz
    13 August, 2008

    >I think maybe the reason we feel better when we forgive someone is because we release all the negative energy that keeps us angry. When we are angry I feel that our whole system goes completely haywire. The more we forgive others the easier it is to live a happier life.


  2. kiqie
    30 August, 2008

    >it’s a good article…good to read…well, after reading this i just already know that if we can give our forgiveness can make us healthier…it is hard to forgive someone and its not that simple also to say forgive me…but if we already know the benefits, why don’t we try it just from now on…it can make us live in simplicity and happier life…after all, no matter what happen we can’t live all alone in this big big world…cheers… ^.^


  3. devi_cool
    1 September, 2008

    >article yg bagus dan baik utk diketahui…krn setiap hari ada begitu banyak orang yg disakiti dan menyakiti orang lain.memaafkan dan minta maaf mungkin adalah hal yg cukup sulit utk dilakukan.secara pribadi bagi saya article ini sangat membantudan sekaligus memberi pengetahuan yg baru.saya setuju ketika tidak dapat memaafkan seseoranghati, pikiran dan tubuh akan terasa tidak nyaman (tidak sehat)..akhirnya rugi sendiri.thanks 4 good articlesaya percaya ada banyak orang yg diberkati dgn iniGbu


  4. ai
    23 January, 2009

    >Beta setuju. Memaafkan akan membuat tubuh(juga jiwa dan roh) kita menjadi lebih sehat. Ini (suka memaafkan) adalah bagian dari karakter yg harus kita miliki untuk mau tetap sukses dalam hidup. Ada pepatah: “kepandaian dapat menghantarkan kita menuju puncak kesuksesan, namun hanya karakter yang dapat mempertahankannya”. OK, sukses selalu buat Nano!


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This entry was posted on 1 August, 2008 by in Psikologi.
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